Now we are strangers

1 min read May 13, 2020

Now we are strangers

if things had been different then we would be together now. or even still in contact every now and then. you are etched into my memory for a possible eternity and although it’s been a while i still wonder what could have been

if i had been able to open up more and receive the love i believe you had for me. all the little things. i should have been more brave.

when we were together it was like i was about burst with all i felt for you. i didn’t think that i could be in love, I didn’t know what was happening. all i wanted was to lay with you forever. i wanted to have a life with you.

i know it’s over now, but i want you to feel so much happiness that you could burst. that you have everything you ever wanted and somebody who can give you what i couldn’t. I’m so sorry for not being stronger, more forthcoming about how crazy i was about you. more open, more willing. sometimes when i reminisce it all comes back and my heart is heavy. i am more able to control it now, i don’t want to live in fantasy anymore. surely you’ve moved on. i get the signals that you’ve sent.

just know i was so fucking scared you’d see past the mask and stumble upon the poison. the emptiness that i was and felt, the sorrow inside my being. just know i’m different now. more stable and sober. less sad. i believe i have a purpose. i imagine if we had met now then maybe there would even be a chance. i just needed this time to heal myself. i’ve been broken my whole life, then we met and i learned what love could be like. you made me believe i was worthy of something other than pain.

you said i helped you too, and maybe that was our purpose in connecting. i just hope that we find each other again in the next life. my soul needs you.

Picsew | Ezra
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